第七十二章 和解
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“紫音你真的原谅姐姐吗？我曾经那样对你你真是不生气吗？”
“我只会为过去无法保护姐姐你而自责怎会生姐姐的气呢？”我伤心地摇摇头黯然**道：“菲菲姐是紫音没用不能保护菲菲姐。血特龙说得没错我确实是个很自私的女生在自己与别人之间我选择的是自己。”
“小紫音你原谅菲菲姐就行了我不许你再说这种傻话。这三天菲菲姐一直都呆在这想如果这道选择题换成是我我会选什么呢？是为保护别人而光荣地牺牲自己还是像个鸵鸟般缩入沙地逃避现实？很讽刺思索三天三夜后的答案是跟小紫音你一样的我会选择自己！我宁愿牺牲别人也要想办法保全自己这就是我唯一想法。当我找到这种无耻却又真实存在的答案后我就知道恨错小紫音你了。既然自己都无法做到我有何资格要求别人去执行？而且当事情生后我自问不敢独自找血魔报仇但你却做到了为的却仅仅是替我口气。”
“当我想通后我悔恨得想杀死自己。虽然我无意盗取小紫音你的身体但在诱惑面前我却迷失自我成为贪婪控制下的人偶。有件事我咽在心里很久小紫音不管你相信与否其实你回到木屋后看到你浑身浴血的情形我心里竟卑鄙得产生一种莫名的快意不过尽管如此我仍然没想过要跟你交换身体直到你说出你是天使这一事实我才被熏得头脑热想想自己有可能成为传说中的天使这是多么大的诱惑啊？所以、所以我……”
“然而得到天使之身又如何这段日子我没一天睡得安稳因为只有灵魂最纯洁的人才配得起如此天之娇躯可惜我不是我的存在是对‘它’绝大侮辱。小紫音世上配得起如此称号的女生非你莫属。”燕菲菲小心捧起我脸蛋对我认真说道。
“不是这样的菲菲姐我也配不上‘它’一切只能说是天意弄人。”我把螓埋入燕菲菲柔软的胸脯蜷伏在她怀里热泪盈眶道。
“我把一切事情告诉菲菲姐你当你知道事实真相后你就不会再产生如此荒唐的想法了。”突然之间我有一种冲动我想把所有事实告诉燕菲菲包括我痛苦的过去这种冲动是那样的不可抑制。我泪眼汪汪地在燕菲菲怀中抬起头泪珠挂颊。
“我是男生！”我句就石破天惊把燕菲菲镇得完全石化了。
接着不顾嘴巴变成o型的燕菲菲我含泪一五一十把不堪回的过去吐露出来包括男生时代的流浪历程绝世强者的奋斗经历骤遇父王的喜悦心理变身时代的思想挣扎毫无保留地我以镇定得连自己都不敢相信的语气把它们全部道出。末了我伤心地紧紧抱住燕菲菲哭泣道：“菲菲姐我真是无法做到与男生有任何亲热接触当日血特龙毫无先兆地出现在紫音面前想轻薄紫音紫音整颗心都乱了。当时除了害怕和渴望尽快逃离魔爪紫音脑袋一片空白什么都想不到也无法去想。如果不是紫音软弱无能或许菲菲姐能安然无恙的。”这是为何我如此自责的地方如果不是变身后对男生存在莫名恐惧我会把事情处理得更好的到时也不会有悲剧生所以归根到底一切都是我的错。我绝不能原谅自己。
把潜藏在心底最大秘密吐露出来后我只觉浑身一松仿佛抛下沉重的包袱。
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